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Post by Beinidict Ó Niaidh on Oct 18, 2022 7:51:29 GMT
I know this is a mainly male forum (apologies Annie, and I know there were other women here over the years), but this is a topic which comes up in Catholic circles. This is a response directed at young Catholic women in the US: www.crisismagazine.com/2022/catholic-and-going-to-college-get-a-spouse-in-addition-to-a-degree?utm_source=Crisis+Magazine&utm_campaign=51cd750724-Crisis_DAILYRSS_EMAIL&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_a5a13625fd-51cd750724-28171409&mc_cid=51cd750724&mc_eid=87c6a76f48What I have found in Europe (Ireland included) and Australia (in addition to North America) is that Catholic women looking for potential husbands in church (TLM and otherwise conservative Catholic organisations) find the men attending are almost too pious to make husbands or just plain weird. By the same token, if I say to some young unattached men that there are women looking for spouses in Catholic circles, I expect they'll answer "Where?" There is one thing I agree absolutely with the writer, where she says that dating is a serious game and it is not about having fun. It seems a variation on the very bad advice given in rural Ireland for generations (post-Famine) "You've plenty of time for that" as if it was the height of wisdom. But I think she comes close to falling into a trap that I've heard repeated in rural Ireland, that men have more time. If men leave marriage until they are almost old enough to be their children's grandfather, they sacrifice a lot of energy on the way.
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Post by Alaisdir Ua Séaghdha on Oct 18, 2022 11:10:44 GMT
Well, resorting to internet matchmaking is hardly a good idea either.
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Post by Young Ireland on Oct 18, 2022 19:54:46 GMT
Well, resorting to internet matchmaking is hardly a good idea either. I wouldn't go quite that far, as someone who has dated over the Internet in the past. Certainly, you need to have your wits about you, but there's no reason that it cannot work out if both parties are sincere. If anything, in some cases it could actually be easier to find a practicing Catholic spouse online than off it.
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Post by Beinidict Ó Niaidh on Oct 20, 2022 9:39:47 GMT
Well, resorting to internet matchmaking is hardly a good idea either. I wouldn't go quite that far, as someone who has dated over the Internet in the past. Certainly, you need to have your wits about you, but there's no reason that it cannot work out if both parties are sincere. If anything, in some cases it could actually be easier to find a practicing Catholic spouse online than off it. Well, internet dating does work for some people and there are happy marriages out there which began on Catholic dating sites. However, you certainly needs your wits about you. People lie. People post misleading pictures of themselves (they are either as they were years ago or someone else). It's difficult to read a situation. Even typing in an email is more misleading than a handwritten letter. I know facetime enables live chats with an image, but really it is a bad idea to make a commitment until you've met in person. I think the Catholic community is somehow reflecting the experience of the Jewish community, that some people are marrying further afield and therefore leaving their communities. Perhaps we need to get back to building proper communities in the first place
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