Quite recently a survivor of clerical abuse signing himself "Kevin" has published a statement on the ACPI blog in which he describes how his experience (including hearing his abuser described as a "holy priest" and having complaints dismissed out of hand) has left him with a phobia towards priests. HE asks whether it would be possible for the Church to issue some sort of "dispensation" allowing reception of the sacraments to be independent of priests.
I do not wish to say anything about KEvin's own comments, except that they are truly heartrending and should bring home to everyone the harm done by clerical abuse and its cover-up, how futile and superficial it is to say "let's move on", and how much we need to pray for those whose relationship with God and His Church has been warped and shattered by these abominations.
What is noticeable here is the response of some of the pro-ACPI comments (including Sean O Conaill of Voice of the Faithful Ireland). They suggest that ALL the sacraments can be administered by laity to one another with no need of priests; that the sacraments can be altered or dispensed with altogether; that the answer to Kevin's problems would be to have women priests (apparently assuming women are incapable of abuse); even that he should go to the Church of Ireland because it has female ministers.
One gets the distinct impression from some of these comments that the authors can never have had any idea of how the Sacraments work to bind the Church together, but see them just as some sort of external ritual. (I might add that they do not seem to pay much attention to lay prayer/devotional groups, though this may be partly because such groups usually have priests as members or chaplains.)
I chose to post this here rather than on the Scandals thread because it would be unjust to the ACP not to acknowledge that some of their vagaries do spring from the perpetration and cover-up of these utter horrors which strike at the very root of the sacramental life, and that however problematic their proposed solutions may be the ACPI are at least trying to address this. IF we want to provide an alternative solution to the nostrums of the ACPI we must acknowledge what has been done to victims like Kevin and try to address it in prayer and by other means:
www.associationofcatholicpriests.ie/2012/06/trust-on-the-path-towards-healing/www.associationofcatholicpriests.ie/2012/07/a-follow-up-on-kevins-post-on-sexual-abuse/EXTRACT (from comments on first post)
Sean O'Conaill
June 24th, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Kevin’s own journey has surely made him uniquely qualified to advise church leaders on how to develop an effective ministry to people like himself – those who want to move beyond anger and back to some meaningful relationship with Jesus and their native church. I haven’t seen anything published yet in Ireland that so well describes the spiritual obstacles to a healing relationship with the church.
I am no expert on this, but what I have read about the history of the Catholic sacraments suggests strongly that they didn’t arrive in their present form in the earliest church. They evolved gradually, and it wasn’t until the second millennium that the church settled on the present set of seven.
Doesn’t that suggest the possibility that the sacramental repertoire of the church could evolve further, to cater for the kind of problem that Kevin so well describes?
What effort has the ICBC made so far to consult with abuse survivors on the kind of issue that Kevin addresses here? What thinking has been done about the possibility of new models of ministry to cater for the situation? Surely some of the counsellors involved in what was Faoiseamh and is now ‘Towards Healing’ will have encountered the kind of problem that Kevin describes, and done some creative thinking about it? Couldn’t they learn more from Kevin?
I’ll keep Kevin in prayer anyway, and pray that he himself could become a recognised instrument in the healing of others. He has somehow crossed many chasms of suffering into the land of forgiveness, so God must surely have some ministry in mind for him. Isn’t this what ‘discernment’ is all about?
END OF EXTRACT
EXTRACTS (from comments on second post)
Gabriel Martin
July 2nd, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Take it out of their hands altogether. They’ve dropped the baton. Sean O’Connell appears to me to be an ideal person to answer Kevin’s questions. Is the ordained priest and essential element of the celebration of Christ’s commemoration meal? Cannot the Eucharist be celebrated by and in the presence of people who obviously understand the pain that abused people have endured. Why perpetuate their pain? So get together and celebrate the Eucharist. Do this in remembrance of me. Jesus would not have pain perpetuated. “My yoke is sweet and my burden is light”.
Gabriel.
...
Paul Burns
July 2nd, 2012 at 11:36 pm
You may find it helpful to talk to an ordained female minister in Church of Ireland.
Patrick T. Darcy
July 3rd, 2012 at 2:04 am
Dear Kevin,
There is a dispensation from the need for priests in the spiritual life of a Roman Catholic. That dispensation is called conscience. Conscience is above canon law. I would refer you to the second edition of the Catechism of the Church: part three, article 6: moral conscience.
Even with all that you have suffered, it is evident that you remain a man of faith in God. If a sacramental encounter with Christ is hindered by a priest who triggers recollections of abuse, then you do not need any canonical dispensation. As the Catechism states, you know what is just and right, so follow your conscience.
To put it bluntly, forget about the official church responding to your spiritual needs. Remember these leaders from whom you seek a dispensation are the very enablers of the priests who abused you and so many other innocent children. The bishop who asked what more could be done since the bishops have apologized for the abuse and cover-up is reflective of a mindset that still doesn’t get it. Guys like him will never get it.
I hope that you can find other survivors who can support one another, and I think that it is critical that you have someone who has the spiritual and psychological skills to facilitate your conservations and healing.
I pray for you and other survivors. Trust the Lord and yourself.
END OF EXTRACTS
And lest indignation at these statements obscure the way in which clerical abuse does the Devil's work in poisoning the means by which we approach God:
EXTRACT
Kevin
July 4th, 2012 at 1:09 pm
No Patrick I have not said, suggested or implied, nor do I believe that the priest administering the sacrament is in any way understood in a negative light, or the sacrament itself indeed.
I will give an example of a post traumatic stress event in the ‘confessional’ again, fairly recently. This happened not three years ago.
I was trying to read again about the Catholic faith. I was visiting a monastery – taking some relatives who wished to avail of confession before travelling to England. I was sitting waiting and an elderly priest walked past me sitting there and asked if I’d like to go to confession, if I were waiting for that. I wondered if it might be a hint from above – the reluctant mister gullible. I thought it would do no harm to avail of this now, newly named ‘sacrament of reconciliation’ – and I was wanting to reconcile. Christ reconciles all things to Himself, we are told.
I went into the room and sat with the man. I was not in ten minutes till I had to almost run out and slam the door after me. I was trying to relate some of my past experience and why it was difficult for me in the process of seeking reconciliation with the past, present and the ‘Church’. Before hearing anything I had really to say, or being told the outcome of a certain situation with the abusing priest in my past, which did end in true reconciliation, I was told in no uncertain terms that I was full of hate, consumed by it in fact, and had absolutely no desire or capacity to forgive – and some other things I won’t go into. I felt like I was Lucifer incarnate. And anyone knows me knows how far that is from the truth.
I came out of the room and stood, violently shaking from my head to my feet and wanting to vomit. I thought at one point I was going to go into a convulsion. I’ve been with many people in the past convulsing and that’s why I believed my own body might actually convulse at that point. It really did ‘trigger’ such a violent reaction in my mind and my body. A woman who worked there saw the state I was in and asked me to sit and have a cup of tea. I couldn’t sit – I had to get out of that place and away from those people.
But I was shaking so much the woman convinced me that if I got into the car I’d crash and kill myself and/or someone else.
And at that moment part of me wanted, after these seemingly endless abuses and betrayals, to do just that – drive that car off some bridge and be done with all of it once and for all. The only way to be rid of this RCC that permeates so much of our beings to our cores.
I soon learned, from my own past training and experience, observing this man again before I left the place – that he was not well. I was correct and it was sorted in time.
I later went to see a psychologist friend and explained this to her. She said it was post traumatic stress and a real re traumatising and abuse. I should have taken them to court and cleaned them out.
But instead I made sure that sick priest was taken care of. I did it – not the ones supposedly looking after him, cause they were not trained and had no clue how to.
I asked my friend about the anger I felt. That if I were a ‘violent person’ I might have hit that man so hard I could have killed him.
She explained how I internalised the anger – what I had learned to do, compounded by church teaching, when hurt ‘must forgive’- and that that accounted for my thinking to drive off a bridge in the immediate aftermath. Rather than externalise the anger and hurt the priest – I internalised and would have hurt my self more, or self destructed.
The entire experience was a triggering event to past abuse in the ‘sacrament’al experience – confessional in this instance, as well as others more recent to that time – re abuse, re trauma and could have ended in disaster. My body was reacting to years of trauma – not just that one event.
That man was not well, elderly and vulnerable in his own right, and should never ever have been left in a position with the potential to harm others, or himself.
So the ‘vulnerable’ clerics are not being adequately cared for as well as the some times highly vulnerable members of their congregations.
Who in their right minds would expect anyone to expose themselves to that level of danger again, in or outside some ‘sacrament of reconciliation’.
I am growing more convinced that as Catholics we suffer something akin to “Battered Wife Syndrome.”
Trying to escape an abusive partner, spouse, who beats the crap out of us, promises never to do so again, apologises profusely and makes no real effort to change the real heart of the problem.
I have no issue with all the good priests, or sacraments – but people should not be put in danger, especially vulnerable people and that is part of the remit of “Towards Healing.” If I’d been someone else who externalised anger – someone could have been killed that day. That is a FACT, the potential for the REALISTIC outcome of such events.
That’s post traumatic stress and triggering.
If people can be helped to feel safe again in any of that – well and good.
That permanent exit door is getting closer by the day however.
And the medical analogy is beyond ridiculous, and shows, apart from lack of intelligence, lack of the remotest understandings of what this is about and the seriousness of it.
We’ll see.
END OF EXTRACT
Read what Kevin has to say, and pray for him and the others like him
